Rubbish

You know its going to happen
But you dont know what it is going to be
It is the most disturbing feeling for the little control freak in me

Some one who likes to live in her own world
I must not let anyone in
Time to double latch
What was a loose chain

Your words are ugly to me
I find no comfort in them anymore
Time to go underwater
Where no sound is made
Read my soul
Feel the blood pump
The creator sings within me
True happiness within myself

Success to me is not your approval
Only I judge my actions
I never gave you the rights
For me my path is what matters
Not what you think or feel

I have energy enough to live my life
I dont give a fuck about yours
I have darkness enough in me
Will live in the shadows if it will keep you out
To me it is more dazzling than any ray of your light

So dont turn up your nose at me
So "dont give me evils dont give me them nasties"
HAHAHAHAHA
Because in my head there is a finger pointing at you
And insane laughter

 Brilliant mind 
Oblivious heart
Words that mock and poke fun
He who knows he is right
He who knows
You think he is right
His crude nature
Addiction to depression
Aversion to human affection
All cast away
In the light of his determination
He will right what is wrong
Only in his own way
His path is second to none
Never seeking for approval
Turns away from acceptance
Never the one to seek solace
In the commonplace (of somebody's heart)
Yet,
Never will he let the ticking stop
Or even be flawed !
He knows he wins
Because he defines his own victory

The eyes are not cold
Ears are not flooded
He is looking to fix it
Always looking for the flawed beat
Preying
And laughing
At our petty concerns
Because we think he is damaged
Because he cares not for smiles
Cares not about tears
Laughing, because we are
Falling behind 
The science of deduction is the game of the terrain
Terrain called life
Where we have given up
He reigns !

... a vivid dream

Every morning you open your eyes, the night has long past but the dreams linger on. The record is on a loop, im running, being chased.

I'm being slowed down, now immobilized by its cold embrace. It wraps around my neck ,tightens around my feet. Its got unimaginable strength but I break free. Free from the shackles in a frenzy, loosen the noose swiftly, sitting up right at last... the air smells sweeter. My fists tighten to stop me from shaking. I float around, no surface seems to stop me and I drown... deep slumber where a new story begins  

When you wake up, you have a choice between the fantasy worlds you want to be a part of or reality. If it is in my subconscious its very much real but when I'm conscious there is a different reality that exists, governed by law and placed in between a system. Is it a foolish thought that I can make my dreams come true, make it one the conscious and the sub conscious, create the reality I want to?

Having said that and written about a night mare just at the beginning of the blog I do not want my my reality to be a night mare, as if reality isn't much of a nightmare already, but Im not going to moan about it just now, i Iwant to speak about something lighter, but I  will moan about the fact that my bed is situated in the most horrible corner in the room its boiling hot here! And just as you walk a couple of steps away from here you feel the temperature drop. Its not going to help me at all being so hot headed all the time. We need rearrangement !(of the room and the things in my head)